When an express train to London made an unscheduled stop at Reading station, Cyril Joad - having missed his own train - hopped aboard. "I'm afraid you'll have to get off, sir," the porter shouted. "this train doesn't stop here."
"In that case, don't worry," Joad replied, taking a seat "I'm not on it! "
Cyril Edwin Mitchinson Joad(1891-1953) English philosopher
Author of (amongst other things) "Guide to the Philosophy of Morals and Politics (1938) which introduced me to the idea of Philosophy. (For more see here)